Who Am I?

One of the things I am struggling with at the moment is the balance between life at home and life with the friends here that I am making, the Americans on this program. The students that are staying on campus go out at night, see one another often, and are enjoying life on campus. The students in the homestays are trying to negotiate what to do on the weekends, where we can hang out and go. I’ve found that in this planning I tend to remain on the quiet side, not getting involved often. I’m trying to figure out why, what it is that is holding me back. I think that I love my family here so much that I want to be around them, help out around the house, and not leave whenever I have the chance. Just today Evans, the boy who helps around the house, ironed my clothes for me and I have much appreciation for the things that he does for me. When we were sitting at dinner today he came to clean the windows and when I started speaking Twi I could see the smile creep across his face. He helped me a few times with the pronunciation of words.

This question of “Who Am I?” is one that I will continue exploring. Sometimes I feel as if I’m seeing myself as another person. For instance when I walk anywhere I always greet the people that I pass. They don’t always respond but I’ve found that this small gesture makes me so happy; that it connects me in a small way; and that I can create a better name for myself then “Obruni” or white girl.

A friend and I were walking to class today talking about friendship, the role of it during this time and what we expected. I think it’s important to remember that this is a time for self-exploration, that certainly the friends we make here will be able to help with that, but that part of the experience is stepping outside of our comfort zones and making friends with Ghanaians, asking questions of people on the street, and not sticking in a group of American students the entire time. I’ve found myself asking other students on campus where buildings are and their names, something I’m not even comfortable doing in America, but that I realize is important in developing myself here.

Right now I think I am someone who wants to experience life and wants to discover new things that will inspire me to create myself.